How to Keep A Guy in Ten Days

Imagine yourself staring at your biggest crush in school, your mind slowly daydreaming your day away. Yet, something else is different. For some unknown reason, you notice that he is staring back at you. You catch yourself embarrassed and you quickly look away. But once you try to take a peek to check if he’s still staring at you and he really is. The lines between your daydreams and reality begin to blur and the next thing you know, he’s already approached you. And then you hear these words:

“Do you want to have lunch some time?”

Dating has been around for as long as one can remember. According to Markovik (2007), there are three different phases in courtship among humans which are (1) attraction, (2) comfort and trust, and (3) seduction (Oesch & Miklousic, 2012).  There are some variations between cultures but it generally follows the same setup. A boy and a girl go out together to get to know each other more and find out whether they want to deepen their relationship with each other or not. Yet the true test of dating is not making the person interested in you but how to KEEP the person, in this case, men, interested in you.

A common stereotype among men is that they are attracted only to the physical attributes of the opposite sex. Some may even say men are visually stimulated and they can be attracted by showing off physical attributes such as a pretty face or a perfect body. And lastly, men are thought of to only think of short term rewards such as one-night stands and more prone to infidelity. These stereotypes of men often affect how women deal with men and how they adjust their expectations with relationships.

However, contrary to these stereotypes, numerous studies have shown that men are attracted not primarily by physical appearances but by internal attributes such as intelligence, adaptability, and an exciting personality (see Oesch & Miklousic, 2012). Furthermore, unlike popular belief, men actually have the same amount of positive attitudes towards marriage and commitment as women and have low levels of infidelity (Broady & Hickman, n.d.).

Broady and Hickman showed that one possible explanation as to why women view men in exaggerated stereotypes is because they heavily rely on these stereotypes. This point of view often puts a strain on the relationship and before you know it, expectations are replaced by disappointment. So ladies, the easiest way to win a man over is not by overly applying make-up or wearing the skimpiest dress. It’s freeing yourself from all theses stereotypes that pull on your expectations of how men will act. So the next time you go on a date, stop worrying about what he thinks about how you look because he is already sitting across you, clearly interested and listening to your every word. Just be yourself and before you know it, he’ll be yours to keep.

 Senserely yours,

Dea

References:

Broady, E.F. & Hickman S.J. (n.d.) Sex Differences in Relationships: Comparing Stereotypes to Self-reports. Retrieved from http://psych.hanover.edu/research/thesis07/BroadyHickmanPaper.pdf

Oesch, N. & Miklousic, I. (2012) The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship. Evolutionary Psychology, 10(5): 899-909. Retrieved from http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP10899909.pdf.