Before He Cheats

Dear I Say,

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now, and lately I have been noticing that he's been looking at other girls, even if we're together. I know that's probably normal, 'cause you know, he's a guy, but that’s not the whole story. A lot of my friends have been telling me that they have been seeing him with this new girl from our organization. They are worried ‘cause he’s extra touchy with her, and he’s always around her. I’m afraid he’s going to leave me for her! What should I do?

Senserely yours,

I-Hate-Cheaters

Now since we're on the subject of cheaters, listen to what Carrie Underwood has to say about these guys! 

Dear I-Hate-Cheaters,

            Most women are scared when they see their partner engage in such behavior. It’s probably because you have been in the relationship for awhile now, and he’s looking for something new in his relationship. He might be falling into the routine, which is why he’s tempted to look toward other girls or to be close with some new people.

            Now, to say that he’s prone to cheating just because he’s a guy is a bit sexist, don’t you think? But don’t worry! There is a way for you to turn his attentions back to yourself and to get him excited about your relationship again. A team of researchers from the University of Bonn found out that there is a so-called “fidelity hormone” to keep your men in line. Surprisingly, it is the “love hormone” oxcytocin. Oxytocin is famous for being called as such because it helps in increasing social attachment. It is a neurotransmitter that helps relax the body and lower one’s blood pressure and cortisol levels. It also encourages positive social interaction, as well as growth and healing.

In their experiment, they tried to see if by spraying oxytocin on their male participants, they would decrease their social distance with an attractive female experimenter, thus engaging in flirting behavior with her. It turns out that those who were in a relationship and were sprayed with oxytocin had a greater social distance with the attractive female than those in the control group. And as an added bonus, if you are disturbed when he looks too long at the Facebook photos of some pretty girls, not including yourself of course, then oxytocin  may do the trick! The researchers also used an oxytocin spray and asked the men to look at pictures of beautiful women. Those who were given oxytocin and were in a relationship just looked at the pictures, while the single men zoomed into the photos, getting a better look at the women.

            Now before you ask me, “where do I get that oxytocin spray?”, you can probably ask the researchers from the University of Bonn if they still have leftovers from their experiment. Sadly, oxytocin sprays cannot be found in your local department store or supermarket. But that’s just because you can naturally propagate its release in your partner’s brain. Usually, it is released in high amounts after sex and childbirth, but there are also other ways to release it. You can start touching or hugging each more, because the hormone is stimulated through those activities. Keeping a positive environment around him will also help a lot, so fighting over his “cheating” ways may not be the best move for you to do. Be more intimate. Look at each other’s eyes more, hold hands, kiss--- go the whole nine yards! Try to rekindle the flame as much as you can because this may save your relationship through the release of oxytocin. So before he cheats, get him as much oxytocin as you can!

Senserely yours,

I Say Hontiveros <3

References :

Oxytocin Modulates Social Distance between Males and Females, The Journal of Neuroscience, DOI:10.1523/JNEUROSCI.2755-12.2012

Oxytocin hormone benefits and side effects. Sahelian, R, M.D. January 21,2014. Retrieved from : www.raysahelian.com/oxytocin.html