Head-over-Heels over What?

 Head-over-Heels over What?

Dear Berna,

            For almost half a year now, this six-foot tall average -looking pastry chef has been courting me. Since then, never did a week pass without a bouquet of colorful roses, carefully hand-written letters, and my favorite -- a box of his scrumptiously made macarons which I can eat for like…forever! Despite his sweet and gentle acts which, I must admit, make me fall in love, I always have this question in my mind: To whom do I really feel head-over-heels? To him or to his macarons?

                                                                                                                                                         Love,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Carmela ♥   

Dear Carmela,

       

 Before voicing out my opinions on your case, I would like you to think about love. I know that right now, like most people, your main thoughts on love is what Jack and Rose experienced in Titanic as it sailed through the Atlantic ocean, or perhaps the love Shakespeare told us through the stanzas and choruses of his poem about Romeo and Juliet. However, looking at how people actually live and experience their lives, love is not only what the different movies, poems, novels, and personal stories tell us. Deep within our flesh and very physical being, love is actually another story. And just as how different emotional states and behaviors are manifested with love, so are they represented in neurobiological views.

            So what is this inside our bodies that make us experience this so-called “love?” Before you tell me that it’s your heart, I will tell you about dopamine. Dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter – a chemical that sends information from one neuron to another neuron separated by a synapse (Pinel, 2011). Dopamine is involved in many significant pathways in our nervous system but one of the most known of which is the mesolimbic pathway sending off projections to the nucleus accumbens and the cerebral cortex. This neurotransmitter is associated with an individual's motivation, addiction, attention, as well as lust (Brookshire, 2013). It is considered as the main source of rewards, motivation, and pleasure in our bodies. With this knowledge, you can infer that engaging in these behaviors and experiencing these emotional states will then increase dopamine amounts in your system consequently letting you feel pleasure.

           Maybe now you can somehow see the relation of this dopamine neurotransmitter with what you’re feeling both for your suitor and for his macarons. But for you to see it more clearly, I will explain this relationship further. The word “love,” as what you’re feeling not only towards the objects of your present confusion but also towards your family, your friends, and towards many others, is actually derived from words pertaining to “desire,” “satisfaction,” and “yearning” (Esch & Stefano, 2005). When one is in love, as you assume you are, Carmela, he or she, consistently desires and yearns for emotional bond and sensory stimulation from the person of affection. When these two are fulfilled, the person then experiences pleasure, reward, and motivation and this is where the functions of dopamine are very evident (Esch & Stefano, 2005). With that, we can say that being in love is a naturally pleasing and rewarding experience. This, Carmela, could possibly be what you are feeling towards your suitor.

            But what about the macarons? What are you really feeling towards those macarons? Since I have discussed love in view of dopamine, let me tell you about those macarons likewise. Dopamine lets you experience pleasure, reward, and motivation and this is not only confined to being in love. In the same way, addiction, according to Brookshire (2013), lets you feel pleased and rewarded by consuming particular products (e.g., drugs, caffeine) or even engaging in certain behaviors (e.g., gambling). The difference of addiction from being in love is that a naturally-rewarding experience such as being in love is usually preceded by an appetence or a desire to be in love. In time, this appetence (e.g., hunger) can gradually decrease which will also decrease the experience (e.g., being hungry) itself or even lead to the point of aversion (Esch & Stefano 2005). Artificial rewards like addictive drugs, on the other hand, requires a build-up of high levels of appetence which do not easily decrease after consumption. This frustrating fact even increases the high levels of appetence which causes the person to desire more of this artificial reward (Esch & Stefano, 2008). This addiction, Carmela, explains your feelings towards the macarons.

           My final advice to you, Carmela, is to evaluate what you’re actually feeling. If you’re yearning for emotional bond and stimulation from your suitor, maybe it is him you’re falling head-over-heels for. However, if what you are feeling is more of an intensifying build-up of craving towards the macarons he gives you and that you’re feeling weak and malfunctioning without them, then maybe it is only love towards the macarons, assuming of course there are no addictive drugs mixed on your macarons because if there are, then maybe you're more of addicted than in love with them.                                          

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Senserely yours,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Bernadette   

References:

Brookshire, B. (3 July, 2013). Dopamine is? Is it love? Gambling? Reward? Addiction? [Webpage article]. Retrieved 21 January, 2014.

Esch, T. & Stefano, G.B. (2005). The neurobiology of love. Neuroendocrinology Letters, 3(26), 175-192.

Pinel, J.P.J. (2011). Drug addiction and the brain’s reward circuits. Biopschology (eighth edition, 383-410). Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc. 

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